Ever wonder what the difference is between seeing a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or a Social Worker? The American Counseling Association explains:
Are you stressed or anxious? Often these two words are used interchangeably when they can actually be very different from one another. Stress occurs when we we become overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, worried, or nervous. When we are stressed, adrenaline and cortisol are released in our bodies to help us cope better with the stressful situation. When these hormones flush into our bodies, we are able to concentrate better, become more alert, have a sharper memory, and all of our senses are heightened to help us survive through stressful events. Also, our breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure increase which moves more oxygen-rich blood faster to our brain, heart and muscles to help us fight or flee! Our bodies are protecting us from threats. However, sometimes we don't need all of our physical defense mechanisms in place to deal with everyday stresses such as work, household chores, taking care of children, or marriage...but our bodies still act as if we are in major threat. Too much stress can cause stress on our bodies which can account for a number of various psychological and physical problems.
This is where anxiety may occur. Anxiety can be caused by severe stress and is closely related to fear of something. Our fight or flight hormones kick in here as well. When we are anxious, we are afraid to face something, we fear we will not be able to handle it. Many times the underlying fear of an anxious person is unknown to them until they attempt to uncover the root of their anxiety. Sometimes, if a person was in a high stressful situation and their physical defense mechanisms (sympathietic nervous system) kicked in, overwhelmed their body, and they became fearful of their response and/or the situation, they may have experienced a panic attack. After a first panic attack, many people begin to become extremely fearful that they will have another panic attack in a public place or while driving. Thus, anxiety is created about having anxiety. This is just one example where anxiety and panic attacks may stem from. Anxiety can stem from a number of fears and can sometimes turn into specific phobias. Fears can stem from our thoughts and ideas or actual past experiences that have traumatized us or just scared us. Millions of Americans struggle with anxiety everyday. It is a very common human emotion that functions to protect us from dangerous situations, however, the emotion also arises in perceived danger that can, in fact, be completely harmless.
If you are struggling with anxiety and feel that it is effecting any part of your life, you may want to seek help. Don't let anxiety control your life. A therapist can help you uncover your fears, reprogram your thoughts and responses (yes, even the physical ones!) , and teach you helpful coping skills to take control of your anxiety and lead a happier life.
When we experience the physical responses our bodies put in place to protect us, it is important to be aware whether we are stressed or anxious. In order to help ourselves, we must find the root of the problem to solve the problem.
Can you differentiate your stress and anxiety? Does your body react the same to both or do you have unique symptoms for each?
Did you know research has found that smiling and laughing increases endorphins and can keep you living longer? You probably did, because it makes sense. BUT, did you know you can fake it and it can still have the same effect!? Strack, Martin, & Stepper (1988) found that when participants in their study held a pencil lengthwise between their teeth, the same facial muscles when smiling are engaged. Thus, a message is sent to the brain saying..."I'mmmmmm HAPPY!! Send me happy wonderful chemicals NOW!" The participants' mood actually changed and they were in a better mood per self-report.
What exactly are endorphins? The word endorphins means "endogenous morphine". Endogenous means growing from within. This means we actually have the ability to create our own pain relievers....as in morphine(?!?!)...just by smiling and laughing!? Woah, ok. Ok. The next time you stub your toe on the side on the coffee table, remember to laugh as hard as humanly possible. Or when anything hurts. See if it works!
Better yet, why don't you just try smiling right now. ESPECIALLY if you are having a bad day and you are giving the "kiss of death" eye roll while you are reading this. Come on....crack a little one just for 5 seconds. How does that feel? Are you more relaxed, less stressed, or in a slightly better mood? Smiling and laughing also decrease stress levels. Actually, smiling and laughing have a lot of other effects on the body that some of you may be surprised by:
An increase in the number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.
An increase in activated T cells (T lymphocytes). There are many T cells that await activation. Laughter appears to tell the immune system to "turn it up a notch."
An increase in the antibody IgA (immunoglobulin A), which fights upper respiratory tract insults and infections.
An increase in gamma interferon, which tells various components of the immune system to "turn on."
An increase in IgB, the immunoglobulin produced in the greatest quantity in body, as well as an increase in Complement 3, which helps antibodies to pierce dysfunctional or infected cells.
As you can see from the above list, laughter and humor can be incredibly beneficial for someone fighting any sort of disease or illness. More importantly, we may be even able to prevent illness by laughter and humor! Cancer Treatment Centers of America has written an informative and helpful article on Laughter Therapy and Cancer that you can find here.
Still haven't made yourself smile yet? Just TRY it. Or use that pencil trick. Don't be the kitty on the left, just do it.
We all wonder what our dreams mean and if they even mean anything at all. They must mean something because we are creating all of our dreams with our thoughts and emotions. Our dreams are our own personal movies and we are the directors. We choose the people, the words that we speak and that others speak, our surroundings, and all the emotions and behaviors taking place. There are several theories with regard to the purpose of dreaming. Sigmund Freud believed that our dreams were a "disguised fulfillment of a repressed wish", while Carl Jung believed our dreams to be our unconscious guiding us to solve problems in our waking life and compensating for underdeveloped parts in our waking life.
Interpreting our own dreams can be a very insightful avenue to gain greater self-awareness and to become more connected to our genuine emotions. Sometimes it is hard for us to connect with the way we are feeling about a specific problem or situation, and we may be trying to connect with these emotions in our dreams. We become caught up with many stressful things throughout the day and as we sleep our brain is finally able to process and catch up to what we have experienced. Think about dreaming as therapy. Next time you remember a dream, don't just brush it off, attempt to interpret it and give it meaning because you might be trying to work through something in your real life that you aren't aware of. Here are a few things you can think about or write down about your next dream:
1. What happened?
2. What were all the feelings you had throughout the dream?
3. What thoughts did you have?
4. Who was there?
5. What was the overall mood of the dream?
6. What is going on in your real life right now?
7. Why do you think you created this dream?
This site is an online dream interpretation and you can search for your specific dream to help you understand your dreams better. Keep in mind that the interpretations on this site will not necessarily be correct, you decide your own interpretation that is unique to you (remember, you are the director!). Just use this site as a tool to assist you in your own personal interpretation.
If you are dreaming a lot and remembering your dreams, write them down when you wake up, answer these questions, and journal about what it means for you. This can be very therapeutic and help you make decisions and deal with problems you may be having.
Can't always remember your dreams? Right when you wake up in the morning, try not to start stressing about your day and thinking about everything you have to do. When you wake up, stay still and take a few moments to think about your dreams. This should help you to remember your dreams in more detail.
What is a dream you have recently had and how do you interpret it?
Many of us struggle with various issues from time to time. Sometimes we wonder if our problems are interfering with our lives to the point that we need help. It can be hard to gauge whether our issues are to the point that we are unable to help ourselves. Emotional and behavioral problems can seem small in the beginning and before you know it they have escalated into major problems that can seem uncontrollable. Therapy can be a great way to help prevent an issue from taking over your life or help you to find control and happiness in your life.
How do you know if you need therapy though? If you are even thinking that you need help, now is a good time. When we avoid issues and push them down, they can explode and effect you in a number of ways later in life. If we avoid, avoid, avoid...we can find ourselves with a serious psychological problem one day. Some believe that mental disorders can be genetic. How do you know if you have a psychological problem or if you are well on your way to severely struggling with one? Well, PsychologyToday.com has recently developed an informative assessment to help you figure that out! You can find it here. The test will let you know if you fall into any of the mental health diagnosis categories. If you do, it is important to seek help and have a therapist explain your results from your test. Chances are, you are struggling with an issue and seeing a therapist could help you tremendously. PsychologyToday.com is also a helpful site to search through profiles of psychotherapists in your area and find the right match for your specific needs!
Is there a problem you are dealing with that has already effected you in several areas of your life?
P.S. The above assessment will also tell you if you have a few symptoms of a mental disorder. Do not let this scare you into thinking you have a disorder. We can all have of a symptom here and there of various diagnoses. This does not mean we actually have that disorder. You have to have a certain number of the symptoms to fall under the diagnosis. And REMEMBER these are just labels that man created by forming words and grouping symptoms together. You are not controlled by these labels, you are able to seek help and be a happier and healthier individual.
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if you had a stroke? Or do you ever wonder what someone else is going through who has had a stroke? Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain researcher gives us a good idea in her book, My Stroke of Insight. Not only is she an expert in the field of neuroanatomy, she also experienced a severe hemorrhagic stroke. In her book, she recounts the events leading up to her stroke, detailed memories as the stroke occurred, and the eight years of recovery afterward. Before she had the stroke she had done extensive brain research for a number of years. As a result, the way she perceived and described her experience is unique to most. Below is a famous video of Dr. Taylor telling part of her incredible story:
Interested in meeting her in person? Dr. Taylor may be speaking in a city near you.
Are you more right-brained or left-brained? Could you try to consciously use the other side for an entire day?
A great psychiatrist known as Yalom developed a model of psychotherapy based on Existentialism. Yalom believes that we all have death anxiety, whether we realize it or not, we are constantly dealing with this in our subconscious. We are all striving to have a meaningful life before we die. Thus, all of our anxiety and negative emotions come from our pressure to live a fulfilled life. Our defense mechanisms we have to protect ourselves emotionally stem from death anxiety. At some point in one's life, the thought of his/her own death will cause great anxiety. It can be incredibly scary to think about your own death even for a few moments. Yalom also believes that it is not until we process what death is and accept it, that we are able to actually live happy, meaningful lives. The more we deny and ignore the thought of death, the more death anxiety we have, and the more we lead meaningless isolated lives. Death is an inevitable part of our existence that if we refuse to accept and face during our time on Earth, we may have wasted much of our life being unhappy and failing to allow ourselves to find true meaning in life. A good way to process death is to become more self-aware through journaling, reading, and/or therapy.
Mitch Albom wrote a great non-fiction novel, Tuesdays with Morrie. Many of you are probably familiar with the book. This true story is about a reporter, Mitch Albom, meeting and talking with his former professor, Morrie Schwartz, every Tuesday in the last part of Morrie's life. Morrie had ALS (also referred to as Lou Gehrig's disease) , a terminal disease that progressively degenerates all the neurons in the body until death.
Morrie had accepted death and was living an incredibly meaningful and happy life. He discusses how he was able to reach such content and meaning and teaches valuable life-lessons throughout the book.
Below is an extraordinary interview with Morrie. Fast forward to 4:25 to hear Morrie talk about important life lessons.
Have you been wanting to seek therapy but have been hesitant to make the first step? There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what counseling is exactly. The way the media represents therapy in movies and television is usually very far from the reality of what therapy actually is. Below you will find a list of myths and reality of therapy.
Myth #1: Counseling is only for crazy people
Reality: Many people who attend counseling are bright, skilled, and stable people. These individuals are often struggling with problems in a specific area and seeking personal growth and development. Stressors and difficulties are a part of life for all people. Many argue that the ability to ask for and accept counseling help represents clear evidence of intelligence and sanity.
Myth #2: Counseling is only for problems that are severe
Reality: Most individuals seek counseling for everyday issues like relationship problems, stress, and symptoms of depression. It is true that counseling can be helpful for individuals suffering from severe problems. However, seeking counseling for problems at this level does not represent the majority of clients in counseling. Additionally, attending counseling when problems are mild to moderate can prevent problems from becoming severe.
Myth #3 A counselor does not know me and can’t help me
Reality: Actually, this is one of the most important reasons why counseling can be successful. Since a counselor is not a part of your day to day life, they are capable of being more impartial with less bias. Oftentimes, family and friends tell you what you should do. Counseling involves a unique relationship where you are encouraged and challenged to find the answers that are right for your life.
Myth #4: Counselors just sit there, nod, and stay silent
Reality: Many stereotypes and depictions of counselors in movies have led to their image being "touchy-feely", reading your mind, detached, or ineffective. Most counselors today are active and engaged, using questions, reactions, and interventions to help you move towards your goals. It will be important to consider how active you want your counselor to be and inquire about this when working to find a counselor that is right for you.
Myth #5: Counseling takes forever
Reality: The length of counseling depends on the client’s goals, motivation, and the severity of the problems brought into counseling. However, most counseling is short-term, generally lasting between eight and fifteen sessions. Good counselors are invested in helping you meet your goals so you can successfully operate independent of counseling.
Myth #6: Everyone will know I'm seeing a counselor
Reality: Counselors our bound by professional ethics and state law to protect your confidentiality and privacy both during counseling and after counseling ends. Only in extreme cases where someone is in imminent danger or a judge mandates release of counseling records can confidentiality be broken. Outside of these circumstances, information can only be shared if you share it or you provide writing authorization for releasing information. A good counselor will explain confidentiality to you at the beginning of counseling.
Myth #7:Couples counseling always makes one person the villain
Reality: Good couples counselors focus on the relationship. While it will be important to gather information from each member of the couple, the purpose is to facilitate relationship change. As a result, each member will look at their role in the current state of the relationship. Rather than labeling someone the villain, the couple’s counselor will encourage both members to make changes leading to improvements in the relationship.
Myth #8: You have to be near a divorce to qualify from marriage counseling
Reality: Marriage counseling can be beneficial for couples who suffer from mild, moderate, or severe problems or couples who just want to attain greater marital happiness and satisfaction. Many married couples avoid counseling until a divorce seems imminent. Counseling does not guarantee that a divorce will not happen, but it can guide you toward the best decision for the relationship.
Myth #9: Couples problems can only be examined in couples counseling
Reality: While it is ideal to work on couples issues as a couple, various approaches exist. Some couples counselors see members of the couple individually for 1-2 sessions to augment couples counseling. Sometimes, members of a couple benefit from attending individual counseling as well to supplement couples counseling progress. In each case, the ultimate goal is to improve the couple’s relationship system and couples counseling remains a good option in many cases.
Myth #10: Counseling will change who I am forever
Reality: Counseling will not require you to make changes you do not like, that you are not ready for, or that go against your beliefs and values. Counseling is designed to facilitate positive change. It is important to keep in mind that you are in charge of the change that you make. If you are unhappy with the changes that are happening, tell your counselor. Counselors want to help you change in the ways that feel beneficial to your life.
Information gathered from:
Rich, H. & Laks Kravits, H. (2001). The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage. Penguin Group: New York.
Santa Clara Valley Chapter California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Marriage and Family Therapy Top 15 Myths about Therapy “What You Don’t Know Could Hurt You…”
An interesting theory: It was said that Sigmund Freud had his patients lie on a couch during therapy because he was uncomfortable making eye contact with people.
By the way, most psychotherapists and psychologists have you sitting in a chair face-to-face during therapy.
Psychologists have found that we have 60,000 thoughts per day. Geez! These thoughts make up everything we believe about ourselves, others, and the world around us. They are in charge of all the decisions we make....and the ones we never make. Our thoughts control everything about us!
They even control all of our emotions. Think about it. (heh) Our thoughts come before our emotions. We tell ourselves something, we believe it to be true, and then we react with an emotion. For example, what are you thinking right before you become anxious? Maybe "I am going to fail at this" or "What if this plane crashes". The thought enters our mind and then bam, we react with anxiety, fear, heart racing, palms sweating and our stomach in knots. We convince ourselves of something, a belief we created about ourselves or the world. All this convincing gets in the way of our life sometimes. We might be scared to take certain chances or have poor self-image. Whatever it may be, most of the negativity in our life is created by our own thoughts.
So, does that mean if I can convince myself into negativity with my thoughts, I can also convince myself that I am a wonderful, great, beautiful, successful, smart, SUPERMAN THAT CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I WANT IN LIFE!?!?!!? yup.
Ok, this is getting exciting now. Are you getting excited? Oh, you're not? Well, why don't you think that this is exciting and then it will be ;) We have CONTROL over our own thoughts, and we can change them at any moment! We just need to become more aware of what these thoughts are. It is hard, there are 60,000 a day, but the good thing is we are the ones creating them.
Positive daily affirmations can be very effective. Even if you do not believe them to be true, after repeating them on a daily basis you will be able to begin to believe them as true. We want to be happy and healthy people enjoying this one life. Affirmations are a great first step to achieving a happier life. A good way to find the right affirmation for yourself, is to think about some negative beliefs you have about yourself or others and change those to be the opposite. Another helpful affirmation is an overall positive affirmation about yourself. Replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, each time the negative thought arises.
Dr. Athena Staik wrote a wonderful article about daily affirmations and included these 10 affirmations:
I am willing to think thoughts that enrich my life and relationships.
I love and accept every aspect of myself and my life – just as I am.
I consciously choose what is good for my mind, body and spirit.
I consistently act to cultivate healthy, mutually enriching relationships with those I love.
I have the power and wisdom and strength to handle all situations in my life.
I allow and welcome change, new understanding and growth when I face challenges.
I let go of blame and speak my truth authentically — without judging my self or others.
I am focused on what is good, wonderful in my life.
I seek to honestly assess areas of needed growth, and rise above problems by framing them as solutions.
I allow myself to feel boundless joy now.
And if you don't want to do any of those, you may want to do some of these:
